Its like the Gods are playing mortals: Barça 5-0 UD Almeria

Before I can even start to even to describe Barcelona’s unlubricated and unrestrianed first half sodomy committed upon the fans and starting eleven of Almercia, we really need to consider whether or not Leo Messi (Barça’s #10 and #1 playmaker) is a human being. You see in Philosophy class, we discussed the issue of what is real (physical) and what is not real in this sensory-based world we live in (the non-physical). Now when I watch Messi play, I have serious doubts on whether or not he is a player for Barça or just a collection of lightwaves and inate fears of the opposite team. Im sure the defenders want to stop Messi, but they have no control of what they SEE let alone of what they want to do. He’s a blur. He truly is the fastest, most well balanced footballer on the planet. And the disgusting thing about this is that he is only going to get better as time progresses. I truly feel it is safe to say that he is Hermes (Mercury), the Greek/Roman god of invention, weight and measurement, and of thieves and liars…and rightfully so. Let me elaborate: he invents ways to create opportunities, he knows how much weight and which angle to put the ball at the strikers foot, his overall presense steals points from the other teams and his glaring quickness tells lies to the senses of any back four defenders. Don’t believe me?…If you look really close, you can even see the little wings on the sides of his ankles.

OK, now that i got that out of my system…let me begin.

Like last weeks performance against FC Basilea in the Champions League, Barcelona put out a great performance, scoring five goals to guarantee all three points against UD Almeria, a quality team in La Liga. All five goals came in the first half, and they were well executed by this new offense that is governed by Messi and orcestrated by Pep Guardiola, Barça’s manager. The scoring began of a rebound from a freekick taken by (guess who) Messi in the 5th min.. Eto’o got on the end of a deflection and did what he is really, really good at. A mere eight minutes past, when Messi passed the ball (purposely) to create an angle, then send a rocket to the far post to Titi Henrys foot. Henry, like Eto’o knew what to do from there. Henry must have made Eto’o jealous, because Eto’o decided to score two more goals, giving him the hat trick he deserved. The last of his goal was executed in a spectactlar fashion, putting Messi’s feed into the net with the back of his heel and his back to the goal. It was a nice one. Barcelona’s last goal came from the best free kick of the season. New Barça signing and Brazilian star Dani Alves sent a screamer to the far post that could have severed a head or two if it wasn’t for the precision of the kick. 

The first half ended with Barcelona up 5-nill. To be honest when the first half ended, I knew the game was in the bag, so I decided to watch MYTHBUSTERS and brush up on some of my algebra work. The game ended with no more goals, but that did not imply that Barça lost control or the majority of the possession. Again… Barcelona gains all three fixture points and continues to dominate any team that stands in the way (you hear that Real Madrid?!!!)

Am I the ONLY one who thinks Palin is a MILF??

…I thought the title would get your attention. BELIEVE YOU ME, politics will be the vehicle for the destruction of the United States (or even the earth). Its a losing battle being and believing in politics. Its more about bashing the opponent than aiding a cause. Its like philosophy in the sense that there are those whom think logically and get lost in their endless equation(s) and those whom pick the daisies and dream of an impossible utopia. Either way…I feel little gets done. The U.S. government is super-glued between popular sovereignty and dictatorship. When the people want something, they bitch and moan to those in power. When the people in powers flex, the masses complain. Its a vicious cycle of monkey-business. I don’t know how I should feel about politics. My skepticism lies in the fact that there are two main flaws with the governance and control of the people. First of all, you cannot please everyone. It is unfortunate and inevitable. And Secondly, Those whom are in control realize that they are in control, abuse their power in spite of the people. Its a shame. 

Im going to vote in this election. I hope Obama means well in his intentions and helps my family and myself.

So…These are my thoughts on politics…Now! If you will excuse me, I need to do some research on which pornstars look like Sarah Palin.

oooo….nice “Tennis the Menace” is on (original air date: something, something, 2001)

As my weblog page was loading, I was thinking of what I was going to discuss and then that good ol’ reliable show came on the tele. You know…the show that we all watch in that limbo of time between the late afternoon news (that just recycles the same, depressing garbage from the morning addition) and those prime-time shows (like Prison Break or whatever. Its been around forever and I’m not talking about Seinfeld. I’m talking about the *original* animated family, The Simpsons.

The Simpson family has been creative and entertaining since their debut on The Tracy Ulman Show. Even the corniest of episodes are great. “Tennis the Menace”  was the episode that is on as I wrote this. Its plot is stupid, but stupid-funny. Homer was going to buy a coffin for his father in advance, but ended up buying a tennis court for their backyard. As The Simspons play tennis, Marge find out that she’s good at tennis and her husband is awful at it. Homer then decides to sign Marge and himself to a couples tennis competition, but Marge ends up choosing Bart as her partner. This makes Homer jelious: “…Classic oedipus-like anxiety…” as Lisa said the show. Homer then chooses Lisa as his partner. Stupid cool stuff happens…yadayadayada, then the guest stars of the show: Andre Agassi, Pete Sampras, and the Williams Sisters, take the places of the family members in the tennis match. The episodes ends. A quality show.

The Simpsons are as old, if not older than I am, and have only gotten edgier, more popular, and more entertaining each and every year (wish I could say I’ve improved like that every year lol). I find it alittle unfortunate that people feel as if the show is not as good as Family Guy or American Dad or South Park or the shows on [Adult Swim]. I love all those shows but The Simpons have a very good blend or purpose (by way of its plot) and humor. The only reason why I feel The Simpsons aren’t “cool” in the eyes of this new generation I live in is that the jokes and plot are not absurd for the sake of being absurd. The Simpsons are not the Allstar-Cy Young winning-100 mph fastball-hurler that is appreciated by the fans (as the show was in the mid to late 90’s) . The show is now like the wily veteran who keeps alittle vasoline on the brim of his cap for his curveball and some BenGay in his back pocket for his warn out pitching shoulder. But, don’t view that as an insult! If there is one thing I have learned from watching The Simpsons (and John Smoltz) is that old-guys can get the job done properly and that quality entertainment is timeless.

so with all that in mind…

Barca-6 At.Madrid-1

Hello everyone (the maybe 5 people who look at my blog(s) lmao). I’ve been alittle busy since the last time I wrote, so I apologize for the delay and for the wait. so with out further adieu, Im gonna tell you about the waxing Athletico Madrid got from Barcelona on about two/three weeks ago.

The game on Saturday, October 4th belonged to Barca from the get-go. The team waited until the At.Madrid attack failed and then counterattacked and put alot of pressure on Madrid’s back-four, causing the first corner of the game. When vice-captain Xavi took the corner for Barcelona, you could tell on the T.V. screen that no one was marking Barca defender and Mexican international Rafa Marquez…and surly enough, he headed in the goal within 3 minutes. Barca could smell blood and on the reset so Barca gain back posession, and pressed forward in a matter of seconds. Leo Messi gain a penalty for Barcelona, which Samuel Eto’o converted, making the score line 2-0 in favor of Barca with in 5 minutes. Two minutes later, sloppy defending on Eto’o led to a free kick in Athletico Madrid’s danger area. Madrid’s side was too busy doing lord knows what and didn’t here the referee’s whistle that made the dead-ball situation live. Messi took advantage of the situation and scored the easiest goal of his career of the free-kick, leaving Madrid’s keeper frozen in the 8th minute(it was a pretty goal). As you can see, this was going to be Barcelona’s day. There was alittle bit of fight left in Madrid, which was sparked by their captain, Maxi, who scored the goal of the season in the 13th minute, as he shook two defenders and put the ball in the top-90 past Valdes (there was nothing Valdes could have done). That goal took alot out of Maxi, literally, and had to be subed off afterward for a hamstring injury, BUT not before Eto’o scored his second goal of the game (and his best goal of this season).Eto’o shook two defenders and put the ball swiftly past the keeper with his weaker foot (like Maxi did). If their was any hope for a comeback by At. Madrid, it died when Eto’o scored that goal. The scoreline was 4-1 Barca within 20 minutes.. and… you guessed it, Barca wasn’t done yet. In the 28th minute, Iceland International and Barca fan-favorite Gudjohnsen scored off a rebound attempt that landed at his feet thanks to  an A. Iniesta shot on goal. Barcelona had scored 5 goals within 30 minutes against a team contending for the first place.

The second half was more relaxed than the fast-paced, first 45 minutes. Although Barca was focusing on posession and maintaining their lead, they managed to set up “the cherry on the top” goal. Eto’o had been subed out for friend/teammate Thierry Henry and Leo Messi had been subed out for the young-Spanish prodigy, Bojan (Im older than Bojan and hes playing for the best team in the world). Both Bojan and Henry put pressure on the depleted At. Madrid defense. Bojan used his speed to burn pass his marker and set up Henry’s goal in the 72nd minute. The clock had reached 90 minutes and the ref couldn’t have ended the game quicker. The game would end with FC Barcelona gaining all three league points, and a performance that should leave the home fans very pleased and the player very confident.